


Stop the clocks...

by Soha_Friend



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 16:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18664525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soha_Friend/pseuds/Soha_Friend
Summary: The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good.





	Stop the clocks...

_ He was my North, my South, my East and West,  _

_ My working week and my Sunday rest,  _

_ My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;  _

_ I thought that love would last forever - I was wrong.  _ _  
_

 

Adam could never forget the last words he said before they parted, each syllable reminding him of his biggest mistake. Each sound screaming, “It is all your fault, you were too weak to stop him!” 

 

__ -You know how important this is to me! It’s worth the risk! _ _

__ \- Takashi… How important am I to you? Every mission, every drill I was right there with you. But this is more than a mission, this is your life at stake! _ _

- _ _Don’t start that again, Adam! You do not need to protect me, this is something I need to do for myself.__

__ -There’s nothing left for you to prove, you’ve broken every record there is to break. I know I can’t stop you. But I won’t go through this again. So if you decide to go… don't expect me to be here when you get back. _ _

 

 

Adam never stopped regretting that the night before the departure they slept in different beds for the first time in months. No goodbye kiss, no last look at those kind, blue eyes. But what could he do? He was scared… Even though an astronaut's path was meant to be unpredictable and dangerous, they were after all only human.   

 

When the rocket launched off the ground, he could not even look. The sound of the engines filling the air, he simply stared at the thin, golden line of metal on his fourth finger, wondering if Shiro felt just as empty.

 

He was angry, of course he was. Takashi was seriously ill even before he engulfed himself in the endless hostility of space. The sickness was progressing, slowly tiring out his muscles completely, and yet he ignored all advice possible and persisted with the mission. Sad, confused, but mostly Adam felt abandoned.

 

But still he waited… Long, tiresome months went by, hollow and uneventful. Teaching, working and training, suddenly became meaningless. He found himself going to the places that used to mean so much… But now, spaciously sitting at the tiny bench that always used to be way too small for two, it all felt so foreign. Eating alone. Fighting alone. Hurting alone. Knowing that he let Shiro leave without giving the promise to return.

 

Adam still went onto long walks by the lake, remembering how Takashi’s hand would feel in his. And he could almost see the other man near him, giving Adam that soft, warm smile of his. He could almost hear his low, caring voice. And as the chilly wind made Adam shiver, he would remember how they talked until sunset, how Takashi always shared his coat. 

 

But the man was not there. The emptiness stung, as if the thousands of light years between them turned into knives cutting into the very core. 

 

_Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, _

_ Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, _

_ Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,  _

__Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves._ _

 

He was teaching, when the electronic board suddenly switched onto the news channel. The class woke up from its half sleeping state, when a female voice started to talk about the “Kerberos mission.” 

 

Adam smiled at the thought of having more updates on the mission’s progress. He walked over to the students’ area to watch. But what he heard made his heart skip a beat.

 

No! It couldn’t be… 

 

“The Kerberos mission is lost due to what is believed to be a piloting mistake. All the members are believed to be dead.”

 

Pictures of three crew members appeared on the screen. A thin line of text ran at the bottom. With the Kerberos mission we lost all its members - Co-Pilot Matt Holt, Technician and Coordinator Sam Holt and…  _ No! This had to be a joke!   _ The captain of the crew and pilot Takashi Shirogane. 

 

Adam’s glasses started to fog with disbelief and tears. He darted up, excused himself in a barely contained, shaking voice, and went out, leaving the class confused. 

 

He shut the bathroom door and collapsed onto the cold floor. Hands shaking, vision blurring. “I told him I wouldn’t be there when he came back!” Was only thought swirling in his head. Big words weren't new to Adam, but now he felt like he betrayed the most important person he ever had. And was it not exactly what he did to Shiro? Not support his dreams. Not bid him goodbye.

 

_ No! Please… Why him? Why not me?! _

 

His limbs went cold making him shiver as the chill spread throughout his body. All he could manage were short breaths that stuck in somewhere in his throat as he choked on his own tears.

 

Disbelief mixed with anger. Mad at Shiro for not listening to him. Furious at himself for being too weak to stop him. But the thing was, it didn’t matter anymore. Did it? 

 

_Silence the pianos and with muffled drum_ _Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come._ _Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead_ _Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead_

 

A week later all of them were gathering in the cemetery to mourn their fallen comrades. But try as he must, Adam could not get himself to open the black, rusty gates. 

 

What was the point? He was not even there! Empty soil. A hollow grave…

 

God help him, he could not even look without starting to shake. He could not even think without breaking down. So many people were around trying to help, yet he was so lonely and every second it felt like he sank even deeper into the void. He did not want them to care, the attention made him sick.

 

The ring… Everyone told him to put it away. “It isn't healthy” they preached. But Adam was unable to, because everytime he looked at it it felt like Shiro was still there. Adam could not find words to explain it, but somehow he still believed that maybe space was not as deadly as it seemed… Because he hoped Takashi was still alive. 

 

_ Denial. The first stage of grief. _

 

He would stare at the the night sky, hating every single star, every single spot. It was the space! The space took him away! The Milky Way - a deadly force, melted in his eyes as he felt his cheeks wetten. 

 

May it all be damned! The sky, the stars and the universe itself! Nothing had meaning anymore, expect finding Pluto in a telescope and cursing it with all its moons. Kerberos… The farthest place a human ever reached. 

 

_ The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;  _

_ Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;  _

_ Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;  _

_ For nothing now can ever come to any good.  _ _  
_

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
